This post irks me. Though I can empathize deeply with the amount of shit in an incels life, underneath all that there’s a justification for abdication of responsibility and resentment.
1.) I’m a former nerd who glowed up because of football, accidentally, then a ton of personal development. Over approx. 7 years of hard work I have a moderately high body count. Granted I have good genes, but I actualized the potential of those genes through hard work and putting my life together.
2.) I also experienced incredible depression, suicidality, and emotional dysregulation regularly under the deeply flawed notion that being a stud and banging any girl I wanted would heal the wounds in my heart. Would trade most of my experiences for monogamy with a great girl and being at peace with myself anyday.
3.) a lot of the rhetoric in this incel research seems to be based on the notion that it’s almost impossible for someone to get laid. There are SO many horny, lonely girls out there that will sleep with someone if they feel comfortable, they’re available and the partner meets a minimum standard of attraction. Once you have basic skills in life, you go out consistently, you can still be completely miserable and get laid a lot. I know - I did it for years.
4.) overall, it would be good if incels got laid, of course. But that starts with them. They need to go to therapy. Find out why they hate themselves so much (probably a lot of trauma) and take responsibility for their lives. There is literally an ungodly, infinite amount of self help out there from any perspective that basically works. They need to NOT go on forums basting in their own resentful pity parties and spend time doing things that are meaningful and good. Once they do that consistently, see if women are attracted to them then. It’s seems complicated, but it’s actually very simple.
Disequilibria in male-female sexual dynamics were solved via social institutions that encouraged monogamous social norms and practices. This predominantly refers to marriage. Jo Henrich's The WEIRDest People in the World covers the history of monogamy vs polygamy customs and the cultural evolution thereof.
Tech innovation and related cultural changes took a buzzsaw to the traditional solutions (poor Chesterton's Fence). The only way forward will be some sort of neo-traditionalism that restores a monogamous balance. But it is at least partially incumbent on incels, who are failing to agitate sociopolitically and constructively conceive of themselves as an interest group, to effectuate these changes.
There is of course a lot of anxious discussion about this in American public discourse. Here's some recents, which seem related to your post.
This post irks me. Though I can empathize deeply with the amount of shit in an incels life, underneath all that there’s a justification for abdication of responsibility and resentment.
1.) I’m a former nerd who glowed up because of football, accidentally, then a ton of personal development. Over approx. 7 years of hard work I have a moderately high body count. Granted I have good genes, but I actualized the potential of those genes through hard work and putting my life together.
2.) I also experienced incredible depression, suicidality, and emotional dysregulation regularly under the deeply flawed notion that being a stud and banging any girl I wanted would heal the wounds in my heart. Would trade most of my experiences for monogamy with a great girl and being at peace with myself anyday.
3.) a lot of the rhetoric in this incel research seems to be based on the notion that it’s almost impossible for someone to get laid. There are SO many horny, lonely girls out there that will sleep with someone if they feel comfortable, they’re available and the partner meets a minimum standard of attraction. Once you have basic skills in life, you go out consistently, you can still be completely miserable and get laid a lot. I know - I did it for years.
4.) overall, it would be good if incels got laid, of course. But that starts with them. They need to go to therapy. Find out why they hate themselves so much (probably a lot of trauma) and take responsibility for their lives. There is literally an ungodly, infinite amount of self help out there from any perspective that basically works. They need to NOT go on forums basting in their own resentful pity parties and spend time doing things that are meaningful and good. Once they do that consistently, see if women are attracted to them then. It’s seems complicated, but it’s actually very simple.
Disequilibria in male-female sexual dynamics were solved via social institutions that encouraged monogamous social norms and practices. This predominantly refers to marriage. Jo Henrich's The WEIRDest People in the World covers the history of monogamy vs polygamy customs and the cultural evolution thereof.
Tech innovation and related cultural changes took a buzzsaw to the traditional solutions (poor Chesterton's Fence). The only way forward will be some sort of neo-traditionalism that restores a monogamous balance. But it is at least partially incumbent on incels, who are failing to agitate sociopolitically and constructively conceive of themselves as an interest group, to effectuate these changes.
There is of course a lot of anxious discussion about this in American public discourse. Here's some recents, which seem related to your post.
-https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/unfuckable-hate-nerds-william-deresiewicz
-https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/07/10/christine-emba-masculinity-new-model/
-https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2023/07/12/christine-emba-richard-reeves-crisis-american-masculinity/