We Have Gotten Worse at Dealing With Our Problems

One day, I hope, we will untie plastic bags instead of slashing them

In the past, you could turn a kid's backpack inside out, spill their low-fat milk, and overcome differences through disability slurs. Nowadays, Steve assembles pieces of a TEC-9 pistol spread over many bags in the toilet, shoots the prankster, and then his own temple.

In the last five years, I have seen a growing trend of people not dealing with their problems and following shortcuts or false leads. We see it in the 7-hour average screen times, squares decorated with smileys, the 5-9, and gyms where people no longer speak to each other. We see it in meditation retreats where our chests' tighten, and we suffocate from thinking about things that we don't usually think about or things that we don't want to think about. And in AI chatbots we train to answer questions based on our knowledge.

We are now more likely to soothe the symptoms of a problem without solving it. A 10.9 mini-LED display over kicking a ball with the kids or negotiating a divorce settlement agreement over a year instead of supporting and encouraging each other through good times and bad, as agreed.

It's not the government increase in weaponry expenses, China, the anonymity of social media, FOMO, or a human tendency for destruction—none of that is responsible for our growing habit of prevaricating on issues.

Of shortcuts with more losers than winners.

It's the Think and Grow Rich, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and Rich Dad, Poor Dad that parallel the self-absorbed lives we meander. Enough individualism to shrug off the needs of others but not enough to fulfill our own needs.

We repudiate sacrifice.

Many young people ask me, "How can I leave my dull job?" Their voice notes plead for the one thing they should learn to stop eating white rice and beans. I share an essay I wrote with a partial answer, and some hold grudges against me for that. They want me to solve their problem, but they don't like that the solution involves them. They forgot I, too, weighed 55 kg and ate whole grain rice, baked potatoes, and plantain without protein for lunch. They think I held back my secret.

Or that I'm immune to false leads that look like shortcuts and that, at times, are half a meter away from my bed—clickable squares with gaping mouths waffling information I don't need. I, too, soliloquize how I should be meditating or doing anything different.

But I'm better than that; you are, too. So, I define the absolute worst (and best) that could happen if I take the longer path and write down potential ways to repair these damages. The longer path is always the only viable option. 

One day, I hope, we will relearn how to bench press without Kanye, break up in person, and untie plastic bags instead of slashing them. Life won't always be pleasant, but we'll see these events as transitory and manageable. There will be less haters and more lovers. News sites will call people by their names, not their religions, and the bird app will have the name everyone knows.