How Old Souls Find Joy in Sameness in a World of Novelty
How Old Souls Find Joy in Sameness in a World of Novelty
I know I'm missing out on something. But I also don't care.
I once met two girls who invited me to hang out and have drinks in Cartagena. They asked where we could meet, and I said we could go to Alquímico, the best bar in South America. We had separate dinner plans, so the idea was to meet at around 10 PM. I was excited. Then, I realized I was too old to go out that late. I told them I couldn't make it and that we should meet another day.
When I told this story to a friend, she asked why I didn't go. I said, jokingly, "bars are for kids." She laughed and said I was 23, not the opposite, 32, which is still young enough to club. Although she was right, she forgot that I'm an old soul. I have always been and believe most young adults should be.
Having an old soul means you don't nag about stepping outside your routine like a grumpy child. But also focus on a few activities, passions, and hobbies you like instead of wandering from one shiny object to another. Old souls relish meeting new people, places, and cultures. But they want to return to their routine after a few days or weeks. It is not that we don't enjoy these things enough. It is that we find pleasure in both novelty and sameness.
In 2023, I flew to Puerto Escondido. I saw surfers, skaters, whales, dolphins, bioluminescent plankton, and close to twenty-five people who I can at least call close acquaintances, and about a dozen I wish to befriend for the rest of my life. I felt more loved, fulfilled, and at peace than ever. But I also felt like there was no reason I could not feel that way at home, so, at one point, I yearned for sameness.
People believe that seeing yourself as an old soul will prevent you from living life to the fullest. But it does the opposite.
I have worked for longer and explored more passions for longer than most people my age. All while still traveling, clubbing, and playing more video games than I should have. It is just that I'm too old to do the second group of activities more than a few times per month. Instead of embracing the "you only live once mentality," I lean towards the "keep yourself alive to be actually able to enjoy life." So I feel ok spending a Friday night reading rather than going out to a club and seeing strangers who don't know how to dance hug a corner.
Notice that I'm experiencing all the "must-do" experiences young people do. But my presence in these activities isn't affecting my future self's ability to do them by eating my savings, for example.
Still, I would be lying if I said you wouldn't miss out on anything if you accept you are an old soul. Not going out means occasionally not meeting people who fit the ideal profile of a friend, spouse, or business partner. But you also accept that's fine. There are eight billion people on Earth. While you will not meet anyone if you are always at home, there are hundreds of millions of events you are not attending every day. You are always missing out. Old souls accept this tradeoff and skip novelty from time to time.
As you can now infer, being an old soul has nothing to do with age. There is some rejection of the path people expect you to follow at a certain age, especially at a young age. But most of it means understanding who you are and doing what you know fulfills you, regardless of what you will miss out on or think you will miss out on.
When I was around 20, unlike 95% of college people, I hadn't had more than a sip of beer, done drugs, or partied all night. "That's for kids," I would say. Part of the comment came from my ego trying to make me feel superior. But I now realize it was also an act of self-compassion. Am I missing out on an activity by focusing on another? Absolutely. But that was not what I wanted to do, and thus not regret skipping it. It is fine. If I ever change my mind and feel like I should do it, most of the time, I can do it. An old soul like me would know.
Old soul or young, I don't know. But you are a wise soul.