Any Man Who Doesn't Cry At His Mother's Funeral Should Die

Human behavior lessons from Albert Camus's acclaimed novel, The Stranger.

Meeting people who differ from us has benefits. 

It can force us to challenge our assumptions about the world, getting us closer to the truth. If we want to build a relationship, it can make us empathetic. Not arguing will require us to see the world from their perspective. Also, many of us will reconcile our beliefs with theirs and form more persuasive arguments regarding what we believe.

Doubting one’s worldview can lead to mental dissonance. Yet, many of us pay this price because we understand these benefits. 

But what if the person believes it’s okay to wish for one’s mother’s death and not mourn their passing? Would your desire to be empathetic, form a relationship, and accept them change, even if it’s just a belief they hold? The Stranger by philosopher Albert Camus makes us question how we would treat someone who believed this. 

In it, society sentences Meursault (the protagonist) to death because he didn’t act like a person they considered normal should:

• He didn’t cry at his mother’s funeral.

• He hooked up with a girl the day after. 

• He killed a man and didn’t feel remorse. Instead, on the day of the trial, all he could think of was how hot the courtroom was. 

Meursault showed no signs of grief, guilt, or empathy, according to those who learned what he did and didn’t do. 

Today, there is a vast literature about how people react differently to situations. Personality, trauma, and the environment play a role. Yet, I believe Meursault would be seen as weird, cold, and evil today, as he did for the 1942 characters in The Stranger. 

This is because Camus observed real life and added truths about human behavior to his novel. 

Three, in particular, stand out.

1. People’s perception of you matters, even if you don’t care about it

There are benefits to not caring about what others think of you. You are likelier to follow your passions, reducing the odds that you pursue someone else’s dreams and regret it on your deathbed. 

But in our society, people’s opinions of us can affect us.

What your boss thinks of you affects whether you or your co-worker get a raise. In cases of false allegations, the opinions of the judge, jury, and aggrieved condemn innocent people. As much as I hate to admit it, part of what motivated me to get in shape was to be more attractive to women.

The Stranger’s opening sentence shows Meursault’s indifferent attitude:

“Mother died today. Or maybe it was yesterday, I don’t know.”

Later, during Meursault’s trial for shooting a man, other funeral attendees mention this indifference to the jury. These testimonies play a role in his death sentence. It would have played it even if Meursault had convinced the judge that people grieve differently. The jury and witnesses had made up their minds. Like in cases of false accusations, it’s the judged person’s word against what others think. 

2. People influence what you do, think, and like; but don’t control it

While waiting for his sentence in prison, a lawyer visits Meursault. He wants to know more about the case to prepare answers to the judge’s questions. 

The lawyer first asks Meursault if he felt sad after his mother died. He said:

“I’d loved mom a lot, but that didn’t mean anything.” “Every normal being had more or less wished death for those they loved at some point.” 

The lawyer, expectedly, becomes agitated and asks him not to say that during the trial.

Meursault explains that his physical needs often affected how he felt. He explained how, for example, he was so sleepy at the funeral that he forgot what had happened.

Meursault’s actions are reproachable but authentic. In his position, most of us would hide these beliefs to gain the lawyer’s support. But Meursault doesn’t allow a gap to form between what he believes and says. 

When the lawyer asks if he could’ve controlled his tiredness and sleepiness that day, Meursault says:

“No, because that’s a lie.”

Irritated, the lawyer, as any person doing their job would, tells him the judge won’t like that answer. Meursault explains how what people think doesn’t concern him.

The conversation ends there.

3. People validate our lifestyles

At the end of the book, a priest visits Meursault to discover the motivation behind his actions. The priest asks if he believes in God, to which Meursault says no. “Impossible; everyone believes in God,” says the priest. He then goes on to explain how the non-existence of God would remove meaning from his life. “It doesn’t concern me,” said Meursault. 

The priest keeps asking questions. 

After feeling hot, the protagonist says God exists so that he doesn’t need to talk to the priest anymore. The priest is relieved. 

Most people who interact with Meursault don’t care about his crimes per se. They care about trying to understand why he’s not acting as they are. And why, despite the consequences, he acts “incorrectly.” Is it because Meursault is crazy? Is it because he is right? Is it because of a reason we are incapable of imagining? 

In modern-day reality, we are sometimes quick to judge those who challenge the status quo. This reaction is often driven by fear of how we are living. 

For example, many people call those taking a gap year lazy. They are traveling while you are progressing in your career, as you and others think you should be doing. Fear of living an unfulfilled life often drives us to say such comments. In painting them as enemies, we don’t have to think about whether we like our cubicle job. 

Seeing an outlier doesn’t cause existential angst. People who love their in-person job won’t hate it after meeting a digital nomad 

Meeting an outlier only affects you if there’s angst in you. They worsen it by showing us alternative ways of living, thinking, or feeling. In The Stranger, the priest hadn’t met a murderer that acted like Meursault. The strangeness of his attitude caused him stress. But, and I’m speculating here, the stress would have been lower if the priest didn’t have significant doubts about his religious beliefs.

Our choices are simple. We accept our worldview isn’t inferior or superior to any, or we force our beliefs onto others. If you pick the latter, like the society in the book, we aren’t making our worldview more accurate.

We are just condemning those who don’t play the game.