All Men Before And After Christ Are Simps

Men evolved to risk their money and lives while in the presence of woman

The theory of Social Constructivism says that society forms most of humans' interests and characteristics.

If you ask a social constructivist why women prefer men with a steady income over one close to bankruptcy, they may say television brainwashed women. But, in reality, no one but serial killers would prefer a life of eating the salty plastic taste of instant noodles over food.

According to evolutionary psychologist Gad Saad, men and women are born with mating preferences irrespective of time, culture, religion, ethnic factor, and financial state. So whether in the 1184 B.C. Trojan war, or in the 2004 Troy film, men and women, on average, are attracted to the same traits—e.g., men prefer women with large eyes and an hourglass figure, and women prefer tall, athletic men. 

Men, specifically, risk their well-being to charm women with these traits, with the most notable example being the male simp. Male simps are men desperate to interact and get women's approval. To attract women's attention, they do absurd acts such as paying $30 for a girl's bathwater. 

As ridiculous as male simp's actions seem, they are not strange from a species-level analysis. They are the manifestation of three evolutionary preconditions men have. Simps are simply men unaware of these conditions and their influence. By knowing these conditions exist, you can avoid their financial, social, and moral consequences. 

Men evolved to value beauty over intelligence and status when choosing women.

According to Gad Saad, men value beauty over intelligence and status when choosing a partner because beauty signals youth and fertility. For example, women with symmetrical faces and bodies, both traits that men consider beautiful, are more likely to have a healthy immune system than females with asymmetrical features.

When our male ancestors interacted with women with symmetrical features, they realized that they were more capable of bearing children. This empirical observation made symmetry and beauty appealing traits to look out for in women.

Anthropologist John Marshall ran a study showing men's preference for beauty when choosing partners. He studied how likely men and women were to start one of six types of relationships (e.g., casual conversation, sex, marriage) with people based on the person's socioeconomic status and looks. Marshall found men don't care about a woman's status when deciding who to be with. Instead, men choose women based on how they looked. 

In another study, Clinical Psychologist Robert Searle researched if men rated a woman's beauty differently based on the car she drove. Subjects looked at two pictures of a woman: one in a neutral-status Ford Fiesta S.T and one in a high-status Bentley Continental G.T. Searle found men's assessment of the woman's beauty didn't vary significantly, regardless of her signaled status. 

This focus on beauty explains why male simps drool at beautiful women. Their survival instincts tell them she's worth seeking, so they do it.

Simps fund soft porn industries. They donate their savings to attractive females chatting from a Hot Tub on Twitch, even if the girl will never date them. If the girl sees their donation, they read the guy's username in public and thank him. This act separates him from the rest of the simps. He leads the stream's social hierarchy in his mind, and that's all that matters.

Men developed a passion for taking risks that raised their status. 

Men have always done dangerous activities to appear braver, wealthier, and more boyfriend material than other men. If a woman has two suitors and is unsure who to date, she can favor the most courageous men. In a life-threatening or stressful situation, male risk-takers would be the most capable of doing whatever it takes to protect their families.

Life-threatening risks 

Male teenagers and adults of the Vanuatu tribe tie their feet and jump off a wooden tower to prove their masculinity. They aim to land close enough to the ground for women to say, "wow, he's so brave," but not touch it, as touching the ground would imply the guy died, which isn't attractive. 

Rituals from the Mawé people also show men's life-threatening attempts to impress women. While most women pick between millions of shirtless male Tinder profiles, women from the Mawé tribe date men that withstand the constant stings from a glove of bullet ants on twenty separate occasions. 

One sting from a bullet ant, says Entomologist Justin Schmidt, feels "like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail embedded in your heel." Yet, these men go through the ritual without dropping a tear. 

"City" men also take risks to impress women. Most parkour practitioners, skydivers, mountain climbers, and people bungee jumping in crocodile-infested water are men. According to evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller, these sports make status differences between males public—they show which men are fitter, braver, and have more energy. Women favor men with these traits, increasing these activities’ popularity among men. 

Financial risks

Irrespective of cultural setting, says Gaad, men have always been the sex more inclined to gamble. When men gamble, they show their zeal to earn money—a desirable trait as long as they can keep it. Gambling also sends a costly signal to women: "I have enough financial resources that I don't care if I lose 10k betting on red." 

The irony is that men gamble to seem more financially free to women, but a woman's presence can affect men's judgment on which risks are worth taking. Economist Patrick Mcalvanah showed men who see a photo of a woman before being asked to make a financial decision take more risks than those who don't see it.

Companies don't know the Darwinian roots of simping. Albeit, through trial and error, they've profited from men's tendency to take more risks in women's direct or indirect presence. 

During a chat with Jordan Peterson, Rob Henderson, a Ph.D. student in evolutionary and social psychology, said dating apps create fake profiles of beautiful women who "like" new male accounts. These robot women will interact with these accounts, asking men, "how's it going?" Once men reply, the robot ghosts them. Men will use and even upgrade their plans to interact with more attractive women due to their simping tendencies. "It's like drugs," says Henderson, "you give them a hit, and now they are hooked."

Entrepreneurs also profit from men's tendency to make unwise financial decisions when women are involved. In 2019, 19-year-old Twitch streamer Belle Delphine put on a bathing suit, entered her bathtub, and then bottled the surrounding water in small jars likely bought on Wish. "I am now selling my BATH WATER," she said, "for all you THIRSTY gamer boys." She sold 500 of these jars in less than three days.

Men evolved to be more likely to seek immediate rewards than women.

Professor of psychology Irwin Silverman showed men are more likely to seek immediate rewards than women. Scientists found a link between this inclination and men's lower parental investment.

While female homo sapiens must care for young children, male ones don't, say researchers from McMaster University. Men used the time they didn't spend on their children by exposing themselves to death, influencing the time horizon they expected to live. If you are a male warrior battling against villages every weekend, you don't have time to think about the tavern you will open once you retire—your mind only focuses on what’s necessary to live one more day.

Ancient men's constant exposure to risks explains why today's men jump buildings, do perilous TikTok challenges, and use most drugs more often than women. We are simply less adept at foreseeing consequences. 

Casinos know men's greater impulsiveness, especially around women. So they hire gorgeous women so men can ignore the future and focus on the potential short-term outcomes: awing women, getting rich, and showing other men who the boss is. 

If you are a man, control your tendency to simp.

Don't blame social media for "imposing" beauty standards. Instead, blame male Homo Habilis, one of our 2.4 million-year-old ancestors. Because of his choices, men are less objective when they think about a woman or see her. 

But while every man tends to simp, not every man is one. Men can remind themselves of these tendencies when women are close by and question if their choice would vary if women weren't involved. If the answer is yes, or you are unsure, think twice, as your life and paycheck are on the line.